Humans are social creatures. We have people around us every day: our family members, family, colleagues, friends…. The interaction and exchange with people feeds us, on a conscious or unconscious level. We share energy and grow through the contacts we have with others.

Because humans are also emotional beings, we also face less pleasant exchanges of energy. Negative energy causes a loss of vitality, of positivity and is often at the root of physical complaints.

Confrontations with people we live and work with are inevitable. Whether you want to lose energy to this OR want to learn and grow in consciousness is a CHOICE.

Let’s take a look at a concrete situation and apply the 4 levels of involvement” to it. 

Suppose there is a situation at work. A complaint has come in from an important customer. Apparently, one of the employees made a mistake and a mistake was made in production.

  • A first level of involvement is often DRAMA

Again, we are emotional beings. The recipient of the customer’s complaint will immediately feel frustration and anger rising. Normal human emotions, with a negative impact. The complaint begins to take on a life of its own, as well as the “story” built around it.

Questions such as, “Who is to blame for this?”, “Who made that mistake?” … are discussed at length. We are looking for a culprit whom we are only too happy to blame for the situation.

This reaction is superficial and not very conscious. It is as if the situation takes hold of our emotional disposition.

  • A second, somewhat more conscious level, which often also brings the first calm, is to get the SITUATION clear : gather information and see to what has FACTually happened. Here it is often about damage control : “How do we fix this?” We “fix” instead of addressing the root cause.

 

Most people get stuck in these 2 levels : they get carried away by the situation, look for a scapegoat and then go and “fix” the situation. These 2 levels are governed by ACTION – DOING.

This way of working neither resolves negative feelings nor creates a lasting effect.

By asking the question, “What is my next step?” you create space and raise awareness. This brings you to the next 2 levels. These have to do with who you want to BE.

  • The real shift in consciousness happens when we make a Not the choice of what to do, but of who to be!
    For example, we can choose to take SELF responsibility: “What is my role in causing this condition?”, “How can I improve the situation so that the customer is satisfied again?”
    This is a question we often don’t ask ourselves because we don’t want to be “blamed.” However, this is not about blame, but about choosing to take responsibility. Only when someone takes responsibility is space created to start something new. To create opportunities. An open conversation with the client, can clear the air. And solutions can be found that we didn’t think of before….
  • The conscious decision to have the courage to take control creates Instead of “fixing” the situation, a new idea can emerge, a solution to avoid such mistakes in the future, a lasting solution….The deeper message behind the situation is understood, and the opportunity is seized.

It takes awareness and courage to choose who you want to be and to take responsibility. Courage and boldness are positive energies that can turn the negativity of drama into opportunity.

Schematically, this looks like this:

 

 

Interaction between Opportunity – choice – situation

Once we perceive the opportunities, we determine each time which role we want to take. Between Chance and Choice is a constant interaction. Each choice brings us to another deeper opportunity, and each opportunity gives us another choice to be who we want to be.

As a result, our perception of the Situation changes and we arrive at new levels of clarity each time….

Handling these 4 levels of engagement, creates peace, even in difficult situations, and also allows for growth in awareness.

  • You learn to listen and respond to opportunities.
  • You get to know yourself better and better.
  • You help others become more aware of who they want to be and what they want to do.

 

Living on the levels of choice and opportunity, provides tools to step out of helplessness and proactively seek sustainable solutions that bring peace and support growth in consciousness.

(*) Source: Transformational Presence – Alan Seale (Training)

 

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Dominique BELLENS

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